Ferdinand Feghoot made his debut in the "Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction" as the star of the series, "Through Time and Space with Ferdinand Feghoot" for years. Ferdinad was brought to life by Reginald Bretnor (1911-1992) under the pen name, Grendel Briarton. These short-short science fiction stories all ended with a pun. Hence, short stories ending with a PUNchline, became known as Feghoots.

Okay, that's the history. So what are they really? A true Feghoot is typically a science fiction short-short story under usually around 300 words but can be stretched to about 500 or so ending in a funny pun that elicits a chuckle or a groan from the reader. They have been referred to as "shaggy dog" stories and (for obvious reasons) "groaners." You know the type. Feghoots are the kind of stories you hear at the bar as you giggle into your martini. Over the years, the genre has faded, and today a Feghoot doesn't necessarily have to be science fiction.

Mark Rapacioli, Editor of

A Feghoot is a complete story though, not just a joke. Like flash fiction, it must have a plot (however thin), characters, a beginning, middle and end, and the ideal Feghoot will give clues during the story that make guessing the punch line more fun. One of the most famous puns is attributed to Dorothy Parker when during a word challenge, she was given the word "horticulture" and challenged to turn it into a phrase. She blurted, "You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."

Feghoots are stories ending in puns which are frequently Spooneristic, but not always. See our example feghoot written by Barry Hunter. He uses the switch, (turning a well known phrase or proverb into a pun) not a Spoonerism.

"Okay, Ms. Smarty Pants." you might think. "So what does Spooneristic mean?"

Reverend William Archibald Spooner(1844-1930)who taught at Oxford University often inadvertently mixed up his words and phrases. The name "Spoonerism" came from his last name. One of the most famous examples his twisted tongue was when he toasted the Queen during a Royal visit. Raising his glass, he said, "To our queer old Dean"

To make an intentional Spoonerism, you interchange the two sounds from the beginning of two different words/syllables like "Jelly Beans" could become "Belly Jeans" (okay, I'm reaching here, folks, but you get the idea). When you exchange the sounds, if you are writing them, you would spell the new word correctly. For instance, Isaac Asimov loved puns and one of his best (in my opinion) is, "A Niche in time saves Stein." This Feghoot is a great example of Spoonerism & the pun combined. Notice how the spelling of "stitch" and "Nine" are corrected from the original "A stitch in time saves nine" adage. You can also make a Spooner with one word that has two or more syllables, but that's a lot tougher.

So, now that you have been bored silly with my explanation of what a Feghoot is, the burning question is, "Can you write one?" (There is a method to my madness--boring you silly is a trick to shift your mind into punster mode, and hopefully it drove you to the liquor cabinet for a refill to even more enhance your creative abilities for this little challenge.)

Well, if you can (and I have faith that you can) why not pen a winning Feghoot right now and submit it to our FEGHOOT HOOT Contest?

Yep, that's right gals and guys, Millennium Science Fiction & Fantasy Magazine is now sponsoring a brand new contest, The Feghoot Hoot. See the rules below. But before you submit, take a look at our great example "YELLOW FELLOW" written by Barry Hunter especially for this column as an illustration of a Feghoot story.

If you still need more examples, or just want to have a groaning good time, visit these sites for some belly laughs.

Or just type in "Feghoots" in any search engine and find a plethora of gut splitting sites.

See ya between the pages,

In olden days, when men were men, damsels were always in distress, but now the knights of the realm had eliminated all of the dragons, and there was peace and tranquility throughout the land.

With the land at peace, the farmers were prosperous and the King and Queen were enjoying life, as were all of the citizens of the kingdom.

Rumors began to come into the kingdom of a yellow giant that was terrorizing the Southern parts of the kingdom and causing much concern to the citizens. The King assured the citizens that he and his knights would protect them.

The yellow giant finally arrived at the kingdom, sat down at the moat of the castle and dared anyone to come out and stop his pillaging, plundering and so on.

The bravest knight, Sir Edmond, went out to fight the yellow giant. The drawbridge was lowered, and the knight rode out to do battle. Just before Sir Edmond reached the end of the drawbridge, the yellow giant stood up and clapped his hands together. Unfortunately, the brave knight was between his hands, and just as they closed, he realized he had failed.

Knight after knight tried various maneuvers to outsmart the yellow giant, but all failed leaving the kingdom without any one else to defend them.

Finally, a small figure approached the King and asked permission to attack the yellow giant. The King looked at the young page in amazement, then wished him well and told him to proceed.

The page went out on foot, managed to avoid the hands of the yellow fellow and trip him so that the giant stumbled over his own, huge feet. The giant fell into the moat and drowned.

After a massive celebration of victory, the King made a Royal proclamation. He declared, "Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."

You may contact the author of this Feghoot at:

Rules for The FEGHOOT HOOT.